We test the internet's most unnecessary dog products, then Pickles and Bear deliver the only verdicts that matter.
Dog Hand MassagerTrending for absolutely no reason
Dog Hand Massager“He survived thousands of years without one. He would now like his 4 p.m. appointment.”
A silicone hand gadget that turns ordinary petting into a suspiciously premium spa service.
The unnecessary index
Dog Hand MassagerA silicone hand gadget that turns ordinary petting into a suspiciously premium spa service.
Dog Pool FloatA claw-friendly floating hammock that gives your dog a suspiciously premium poolside lifestyle.
Fur Keepsake VialA tiny glass keychain vial for preserving one carefully selected tuft from the endless renewable resource on your rug.
Frozen PupsicleA fill-and-freeze enrichment toy that buys you thirty peaceful minutes and one very focused dog.
Talking ButtonsRecordable buttons arranged on a colorful mat so your dog can press requests instead of staring into your soul.
Dog CologneA light pet-formulated fragrance mist designed to bridge the awkward social period between baths.
Possessed Shaky BallIt rolls, vibrates and changes direction without warning. The dog filed no formal complaint.
Treat CameraA rotating pet camera with two-way audio and a remote treat launcher for check-ins from anywhere.
PawseccoA non-alcoholic, dog-safe broth drink in a tiny celebratory bottle for birthdays, holidays and deeply unserious brunches.
Automatic Ball LauncherA miniature pitching machine for dogs with limitless ambition and humans with mortal shoulders.
Bacon Bubble MachineA small bubble machine loaded with pet-safe scented solution and absolutely no dignity.
Birthday Cake MixA dog-friendly cake mix and icing packet that turns one mixing bowl into a full-scale canine birthday production.
Dog CrocsFour miniature foam shoes for the dog who has never once asked to coordinate an outfit.
Dog Painting KitA sealed canvas, a few paint colors and a lickable top layer that turns snack time into abstract art.
Dog Sofa BedA miniature upholstered loveseat with bolsters, cushions and the ambitious promise of reclaiming your human furniture.
Spinning Paw CleanerA cup with soft spinning bristles designed to remove evidence of the walk before it reaches your sofa.
Luxury Dog StrollerA roomy, shaded stroller for two small dogs, complete with storage and an unmistakable celebrity arrival.
DOGTVStreaming programs built around dog-friendly colors, sounds and pacing for enrichment while the human controls the remote.
Dog SunglassesStrapped goggles that make every dog look like they have somewhere more important to be.
Back-Seat ExtenderA padded bridge over the rear footwell that creates a broad, stable platform for two compact passengers.
Robotic BoneA rechargeable interactive bone that rolls, wiggles and changes direction whenever the room becomes too peaceful.
Dog Splash PadA shallow mat with perimeter sprinklers that turns a garden hose into a canine resort.
Cooling VestA soak-and-wear vest that uses evaporative cooling to add a little relief on warm, dry days.
Lick MatA textured silicone mat that turns a thin smear of dog-safe food into a surprisingly long and peaceful appointment.
Paw Water FountainA hose-connected pedal fountain that rewards one confident paw tap with a fresh arc of water.
Nail GrinderA guarded rotary grinder that shortens nails gradually instead of making one dramatic clip and hoping for the best.
Dog Ball PitA soft-sided pit filled with lightweight balls and the exact amount of chaos your home was missing.
Bathing GloveA silicone scrubber glove connected to the hose so water, massage and rinsing happen with the same hand.
Our highly scientific process
Every product earns four scores and one brutally simple verdict. We reward joy, usefulness and a respectable amount of chaos.
Usually in all caps. Frequently with dramatic music.
No mystery five-star rating from a dog named “verified buyer.”
One sniff can end a product's entire marketing campaign.